Romance & situationships
The rules changed, and so did every word describing them.
Teenage relationships now come with vocabulary for states that didn't previously have names — not together, not not-together, seeing someone privately. Most of this is ordinary. One or two terms are worth paying closer attention to.
What you'll actually hear
- we're not together, it's a situationship
- he rizzed her up in four seconds
- i'm so delulu about this
- he chased the bus, instant ick
Watch
CBC News: The National · 6:08
Why sextortion on chat apps is not 'a parenting problem'
Six minutes on how sextortion is actually run — organised, scripted and fast. The argument that it is a platform failure rather than a supervision failure is the reason to watch it: it changes what you say to your child afterwards.
What it tends to mean
Patterns worth noticing — not diagnoses.
"Sneaky link" means deliberately hidden
The secrecy is the defining feature, not the romance. The thing worth understanding is who's on the other end and how they met — not the relationship itself.
Ghosting genuinely hurts
Adults tend to treat teenage romantic hurt as trivial. Being cut off with no explanation is a real injury, and taking it seriously is usually the entire intervention required.
Meeting someone from online, alone
This is the concrete risk worth focusing on, and it's a specific, answerable question rather than a general worry about dating.
Three things you could say tonight
Low-stakes openers. The goal is a conversation, not an interrogation.
- Is there anyone you're talking to at the moment?
- How did you two actually meet — school, or online?
- You know you can tell me if something gets weird, right?
The vocabulary
Rizz
Charm. The ability to flirt well.
Delulu
Delusional — usually said affectionately about yourself.
The ick
A sudden, irreversible turn-off.
Simp
Someone excessively devoted to a crush.
Ship
To want two people to be a couple.
Pookie
An affectionate nickname.
Ghosting
Disappearing from someone with no explanation.
It's giving...
It resembles / it has the energy of...
Worth recognising
Sneaky link
A secret romantic or sexual meet-up.
Down bad
Desperate — usually romantically.
Zombieing / Breadcrumbing
Manipulative on-off contact patterns.
Where to get proper help
We decode the language. These organisations do the support — all independent, none affiliated with us.
- Take It Down (NCMEC)Get a nude image of a minor removed, without uploading the image
- StopNCII.orgThe same service for over-18s, run on image hashes
- Thinkuknow (CEOP)Age-banded advice from the UK's child protection command
- NSPCCAdvice for parents and carers
- ChildlineFree, confidential support for under-19s
- YoungMinds (UK)Parents' helpline and mental health guides
Know the words, or test yourself.
Every term on this page has its own entry — or find out how much you're missing in two minutes.