The words that
actually matter.
Most slang is harmless. A small number of terms exist specifically to get past filters — and past you. Here they are, stated plainly, with something you can do about each one.
Seeing one of these words is not evidence that anything is wrong. Teenagers use dark humour constantly, and most of the time that is all it is. The point of knowing them is not to panic — it's so that if something real does appear, you recognise it instead of scrolling past.
Worth knowing properly
These carry real weight when they turn up in the wrong context.
Unalive
Know this oneA substitute for 'kill' or 'suicide' used to dodge content filters.
Social platforms suppress posts containing words like 'suicide' or 'kill', so users write 'unalive' instead. It appears constantly in dark humour and film commentary, where it means nothing at all. It is also used in genuine disclosures, for the same filter-dodging reason.
What to do
Context is everything. In a post about a TV show it's just a word. Written about themselves — 'I want to unalive' — treat it exactly as you would the literal phrase. Ask directly and calmly; asking about suicide does not plant the idea.
KYS / KMS
Know this one'Kill yourself' / 'kill myself'.
KMS is used hyperbolically about minor frustrations — 'kms this homework'. KYS is aimed at another person and is abusive regardless of intent. Both are common enough in gaming and group chats that they've lost weight through repetition.
What to do
Don't lead with punishment for KMS — you'll teach them to hide it. Ask what happened. If KYS was sent to your child, that's harassment: screenshot it, and involve the school or platform.
Sneaky link
Know this oneA secret romantic or sexual meet-up.
A person someone is seeing privately, or the act of meeting them. The 'sneaky' is the point — it's specifically hidden from friends or family.
What to do
The concern is secrecy and who's on the other end, not teenage romance. Ask who they're talking to and how they met. Meeting someone from online alone is the real risk to focus on.
Plug
Know this oneA supplier — most often of drugs or vapes.
Someone who can get you something hard to obtain. It's used innocently too ('he's my plug for concert tickets'), so it needs reading in context.
What to do
Look at what's being asked for around the word. If it's paired with money transfers, meet-ups, or vague product talk, ask directly what's being bought.
Trap phone / Burner
Know this oneA hidden second phone.
A cheap spare handset kept out of sight — used to keep messages away from parents after a device is checked or restricted.
What to do
A second phone means the first one stopped feeling safe to use. That's worth understanding before confiscating anything, or the third phone just gets better hidden.
Grippy sock vacation
Know this oneA stay in a psychiatric hospital.
A darkly comic reference to the non-slip socks issued on inpatient mental health wards. Used both as a joke and as a real, deflected way of mentioning hospitalisation.
What to do
Humour is often how young people test whether a subject is safe to raise. Respond to the topic, not the joke — 'that's a heavy thing to joke about, are you doing OK?'
Sounds worse than it is
Terms that alarm parents unnecessarily — plus a few worth a passing glance.
Finsta
Good to knowA second, private social account.
A 'fake Instagram' — a locked account for a small circle, where the posting is unfiltered. The public account is the curated one parents usually see.
What to do
Extremely common and often harmless — a backstage space with close friends. Worth knowing it exists, and worth asking who follows it.
Seggs / Corn / 🌽
Good to knowFilter-dodging spellings of 'sex' and 'porn'.
Deliberate misspellings and emoji substitutions that get past automated moderation and parental keyword alerts. The maize emoji stands in for pornography.
What to do
Mostly it's teenagers joking around the edge of a topic. Useful mainly as a reminder that keyword-based filters are trivially easy to route around.
Body count
Good to knowThe number of people someone has slept with.
A number treated as a social scoreboard, and a frequent vehicle for shaming — particularly of girls. Nothing to do with violence, despite how it sounds.
What to do
If it's being discussed about a specific classmate, that's usually bullying rather than banter. Worth naming as such.
Down bad
Good to knowDesperate — usually romantically.
Longing for someone, embarrassingly so. Almost always self-deprecating and almost always harmless.
What to do
Nothing required. Included here because it sounds far more alarming to an adult than it is.
Opp / Smoke
Good to knowAn enemy, and the conflict with them.
'Opp' is a rival. 'There's smoke' means there's a brewing confrontation. Usually social friction; occasionally a signal of something physical.
What to do
If a specific name keeps recurring alongside these words, ask about that person directly. Escalating conflict is easier to interrupt early.
Zombieing / Breadcrumbing
Good to knowManipulative on-off contact patterns.
'Zombieing' is someone reappearing after ghosting you. 'Breadcrumbing' is stringing someone along with just enough attention to keep them hoping.
What to do
These describe real emotional damage that adults tend to dismiss as trivial. Taking it seriously is usually the whole intervention.
If you're worried right now
Ask directly. Research is consistent on this: asking someone whether they are thinking about suicide does not plant the idea — it reliably lowers distress. If you need support yourself:
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US)Call or text 988
- Samaritans (UK & ROI)Call 116 123
- Find a helpline anywherefindahelpline.com
This page is general educational information for parents, not clinical or safeguarding advice. If a child is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.
The rest of the language.
Most slang is harmless, and knowing the ordinary words is what makes the serious ones stand out.
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