Read this one properly

When it's not a joke

A small number of words exist specifically to get past filters — and past you.

Most slang is harmless. A handful of terms are built to evade moderation, which means they also evade parents. Knowing them isn't about surveillance — it's so that if something real appears, you recognise it instead of scrolling past.

What you'll actually hear

kms this homework is so long
she's on a grippy sock vacation
i wanna unalive fr
he's got a trap phone

Watch

Maudsley NHS · 12:32
Supporting a child or young person struggling with self-harm: A guide for parents and carers.
NHS clinicians on responding to self-harm — including the reaction most parents have first, and why it tends to close the conversation. The single most useful video on this page if you have found something.

2 more videos on this topic, in the library →

What it tends to mean

Patterns worth noticing — not diagnoses.

Context does all the work

'Unalive' in a post about a TV show is just a word. Written about themselves, it should be treated exactly as the literal phrase would be.

Asking directly does not plant the idea

This is the single most common fear that stops parents asking, and the evidence consistently points the other way — asking about suicide reliably lowers distress rather than increasing risk.

A second phone means the first stopped feeling safe

Confiscating a hidden phone without understanding why it exists generally produces a better-hidden third one.

Three things you could say tonight

Low-stakes openers. The goal is a conversation, not an interrogation.

I saw a word I didn't know and looked it up. Can we talk about it?
That's a heavy thing to joke about — are you doing okay?
Are you asking me for a friend, or for you?

The vocabulary

Worth recognising

Unalive
A substitute for 'kill' or 'suicide' used to dodge content filters.
KYS / KMS
'Kill yourself' / 'kill myself'.
Grippy sock vacation
A stay in a psychiatric hospital.
Sneaky link
A secret romantic or sexual meet-up.
Plug
A supplier — most often of drugs or vapes.
Trap phone / Burner
A hidden second phone.
Seggs / Corn / 🌽
Filter-dodging spellings of 'sex' and 'porn'.

Full red flag list, with what to do →

Where to get proper help

We decode the language. These organisations do the support — all independent, none affiliated with us.

The full list of organisations →

Know the words, or test yourself.

Every term on this page has its own entry — or find out how much you're missing in two minutes.

Take the test →Open the dictionary