Friendship & being left out
Most modern exclusion happens in a chat you can't see.
Teenage social life runs through group chats, and the most common form of bullying now isn't something said to your child's face — it's a conversation they've been removed from. The vocabulary around it is casual enough that it sounds like nothing.
What you'll actually hear
- they made a new gc without me
- he left me on read for two days
- i got ratio'd in front of everyone
- she's being so fake, total opp behaviour
Watch
eSafety Commissioner (Australia) · 11:41
Cyberbullying and online drama
A national online safety regulator on the difference between drama, conflict and bullying — and on what to do at each level. Practical rather than alarmed, which is rare on this subject.
What it tends to mean
Patterns worth noticing — not diagnoses.
Exclusion is described casually
Being cut from a group chat is a real social event with real consequences, but it's usually mentioned in passing. A throwaway 'they made a new gc' often carries more weight than the tone suggests.
The same name keeps recurring
One person appearing repeatedly alongside words like 'opp' or 'smoke' is worth asking about directly. Escalating conflict is far easier to interrupt early than late.
Withdrawal from the phone, not to it
The stereotype is a teenager glued to a screen. A teenager suddenly avoiding their phone, or going quiet after checking it, is the pattern that more often signals something wrong.
Three things you could say tonight
Low-stakes openers. The goal is a conversation, not an interrogation.
- Who's in the main group chat at the moment?
- Has anyone been left out of anything recently?
- Is there anyone you'd rather not see at school right now?
The vocabulary
GC
Group chat.
Ghosting
Disappearing from someone with no explanation.
Ratio
Publicly out-voted. A social loss.
Opp
An enemy or rival.
Tea
Gossip.
Vibe check
An assessment of someone's mood or energy.
Pressed
Unnecessarily upset about something small.
Real / You're so real for that
Honest agreement. Respect for authenticity.
Worth recognising
Opp / Smoke
An enemy, and the conflict with them.
Zombieing / Breadcrumbing
Manipulative on-off contact patterns.
Where to get proper help
We decode the language. These organisations do the support — all independent, none affiliated with us.
- Ditch the LabelAnti-bullying support built for teenagers themselves
- Cyberbullying Research CenterThe research base, including fact sheets you can actually cite
- StopBullying.gov (US)Federal guidance on bullying and cyberbullying
- NSPCCAdvice for parents and carers
- ChildlineFree, confidential support for under-19s
- YoungMinds (UK)Parents' helpline and mental health guides
- Internet MattersOnline safety guides for parents
- Common Sense MediaAge ratings and app reviews
- eSafety Commissioner (Australia)Advice and a real complaints service for serious cyberbullying
Know the words, or test yourself.
Every term on this page has its own entry — or find out how much you're missing in two minutes.